The Autism Super Bug: The Drift (Dissociation TRIGGER warning)

Pagans refer to the Drift as a place devoid of happiness, ruled primarily by struggle and a total lack of spirituality. The word, in that context, implies more than its own meaning, in that it suggests that those who find themselves caught in the Drift may experience any degree of truth regardless of whether or not they are prepared to see it. There are doors in the Universe that should remain closed.

One of mine sprung a leak.

I do not pretend to know what caused the leak, but I think my autism makes it easy to justify.

You may remember reading a post some time ago regarding a nightmare I had about the character, Reid, from the show Criminal Minds. In it, Reid was looking down, pacing, pointing at equations, muttering to himself, scared to death because he was trapped in eternity, applying the linear interpretation of time to it's non-linear counterpart. He would need to quickly turn his attention back to the present moment and compute something solid and linear lest his mind begin barking at the heels of eternity again.

This has happened to me a number of times.

It is deeply unsettling to have the eternal void peeking in at you through a keyhole.

You can't escape me! Ever!

Literally...

My only defense against the perpetual ignorance that eternity seems to imply is to plant myself firmly in the present moment, experiencing not time, but physical sensation. This blade of grass is this many inches long, this color, it's in the shade. Perhaps an insect is crawling along it, eating it. How many colors can you pick out in your tie-dye shirt. How many knots does this tree have? The degree to which you can experience a moment using the five senses is the same degree to which you can assign it validation.

posted from Bloggeroid