It's a lie...

Well, maybe not a lie, but a half-truth, anyway, to maintain a blog about spiritual living and then to turn around five minutes later and be a dick to the people around me trying to get by just like I am.

Even though I have a larger audience through Your Tewksbury Today, sometimes I need to blow off some steam and let things roll off my sleeve without censorship.

So here it is: I am a very angry individual. I'm going to start going to meetings again. Alcoholics think the whole fucking world is about them, right? 70,000 people at Gillette Stadium and it's me that Brady is talking about when he pulls everyone into the huddle.

I'm done with the paranoia and the conspiracy theories. They're just too much to keep up with. Fuck it. I'm done. I need to keep the peace with the people who live here and that's just not possible if I'm being selfish all the time.

Make of that what you will, I needed to get it out. I'm a soldier, not a shithead. Part of being a warrior is keeping the light in your life as close to your heart as possible. That means telling the truth.

See you on my new Facebook page! theintrovertexposedcs@gmail.com

Out of work for another month...

This seems to mark an interesting turning point in my life. Most things do if they're worth writing about. It's funny that looking back amidst the chaos of the present we find an underlying sense of organization to the chaos of the past. The same things which bring us frustration also serve as valuable lessons later, especially if as they arise we are more focused on resisting them than we are to experiencing them at all.

I'd like to head into this period of slowing down, as it were, with the understanding that it would serve me to develop habits rather than to feed a ravenous void of instant gratification and avoidance. The struggle to keep up with the ever-increasing needs of more this, more that, less this, less that, has grown tiresome. 

I just want out of this cycle of stupidity and self-defeating ideology. 

I'm working with someone who is showing me how to set and achieve goals. He is teaching me in Layman's terms why almost every effort I have made prior to this with respect to goal setting has failed. I thought I was just stupid. There is a science to goal setting.

More on this later!

See you on my new Facebook page! theintrovertexposedcs@gmail.com