Where the night before last was about 20 minutes of trying to get comfortable, 10 minutes of arts and crafts and about 10 seconds of meditation, last night was about 15 seconds of trying to get comfortable and 10 solid minutes of meditation. Quite the improvement.
I knew what worked, I built on it, and the results were immediate.
Meditation, for me, is like an eraser. It slides across everything in my day, erasing what is trivial, leaving only what is important and inviting new perspective. The energies at my core while I meditate are neither positive nor negative. They just are, and everything about that is okay.
Everything is okay.
My understanding of meditation prior to two nights ago was being in the zone. I could meditate while I walked, stocked and listened to music. It extended far beyond the art of sitting quietly with my palms up. I thought my perspective was complete. It wasn't, because sitting is a much more concentrated form of healing. It touched every cell in my body, and afforded me access to a place of peace that I never even knew existed.
See you on Facebook and Tumblr! starliper.corey@gmail.com
Tuesday, January 31, 2017
Monday, January 30, 2017
Taking a searching and fearless moral inventory of myself...
Though I'm not presently a member of Alcoholics Anonymous, I've sat in on several meetings over the years, and have been moved to begin working certain facets of the program it suggests.
Of the 12 steps of recovery, Step Four is one of the most rewarding.
Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
I've been sober long enough for certain individuals to suggest that I take a Step Four in order to get an understanding of how my wires work. From what I understand, the deeper you search, the more clearly identifiable your behavior patterns will become.
There are a number of anagrams for FEAR:
1) Face Everything and Recover
2) Fuck Everything and Run
A few A.A's with whom I've been in contact begin to "Fortify Every Aspect of their Recovery" when they realize that they are living the way that their disease would want them to live...in constant fear of one thing or another, rather than, as Dan Millman would put it: Living on Purpose.
Freud suggested that sex and death are the two biggest motivators in life, but I believe that fear is the river down whose snake-like fingers we race until we realize--some never do--that the Guiding Forces among us can only guide us with our complete abandon to whatever they have in mind.
Over the course of this moral inventory, the results of which I'll keep private, I will attempt to discern just how much of my life is led by fear rather than Love and Trust.
If anyone would like to join me, I'll be available through Facebook and by e-mail.
See you on Facebook and Tumblr! starliper.corey@gmail.com
Of the 12 steps of recovery, Step Four is one of the most rewarding.
Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
I've been sober long enough for certain individuals to suggest that I take a Step Four in order to get an understanding of how my wires work. From what I understand, the deeper you search, the more clearly identifiable your behavior patterns will become.
There are a number of anagrams for FEAR:
1) Face Everything and Recover
2) Fuck Everything and Run
A few A.A's with whom I've been in contact begin to "Fortify Every Aspect of their Recovery" when they realize that they are living the way that their disease would want them to live...in constant fear of one thing or another, rather than, as Dan Millman would put it: Living on Purpose.
Freud suggested that sex and death are the two biggest motivators in life, but I believe that fear is the river down whose snake-like fingers we race until we realize--some never do--that the Guiding Forces among us can only guide us with our complete abandon to whatever they have in mind.
Over the course of this moral inventory, the results of which I'll keep private, I will attempt to discern just how much of my life is led by fear rather than Love and Trust.
If anyone would like to join me, I'll be available through Facebook and by e-mail.
See you on Facebook and Tumblr! starliper.corey@gmail.com
Compulsion...
After realizing that I could send my most recent blog post to everyone on my friend list and jumping at the opportunity, I realized after an unsuccessful attempt to do so that it probably wasn't a very good idea to try.
Melissa was the who one who sold me on the idea that it would seem that I was badgering people to read my work, but I had had that inkling and ignored it.
Spraying and praying doesn't work. The idea is not to shove this blog down people's throats, but to invite them to view it if they would like to. The Universe reveals lessons to individuals as they make themselves ready to receive them. If people don't understand what I'm saying or don't want to believe it, they don't need to.
I do not pretend to know all, or even a little. Ideas that I've presented in this blog thus far are those which have worked for me. They may not work for everyone. Not everyone's heart will respond to the same ideas in the same exact way that mine does. I do not have an 'in' with the Powers that Be. I'm not God (thank God for that!), and I will never claim to be anyone's superior.
I'm just me, just as capable of making stupid decisions as everyone else.
As my most recent tests have been about taking that extra half second to respond, I should probably take better stock of where I am emotionally before I waste any more energy on things that are not likely to pay off. Sending my last post to everyone likely hurt this blog's performance, and I deserved it.
I need to remain teachable.
See you on Facebook and Tumblr! starliper.corey@gmail.com
Melissa was the who one who sold me on the idea that it would seem that I was badgering people to read my work, but I had had that inkling and ignored it.
Spraying and praying doesn't work. The idea is not to shove this blog down people's throats, but to invite them to view it if they would like to. The Universe reveals lessons to individuals as they make themselves ready to receive them. If people don't understand what I'm saying or don't want to believe it, they don't need to.
I do not pretend to know all, or even a little. Ideas that I've presented in this blog thus far are those which have worked for me. They may not work for everyone. Not everyone's heart will respond to the same ideas in the same exact way that mine does. I do not have an 'in' with the Powers that Be. I'm not God (thank God for that!), and I will never claim to be anyone's superior.
I'm just me, just as capable of making stupid decisions as everyone else.
As my most recent tests have been about taking that extra half second to respond, I should probably take better stock of where I am emotionally before I waste any more energy on things that are not likely to pay off. Sending my last post to everyone likely hurt this blog's performance, and I deserved it.
I need to remain teachable.
See you on Facebook and Tumblr! starliper.corey@gmail.com
Sunday, January 29, 2017
Welcome aboard, Sandy, a phone fast, successful retreat into meditation...
Thanks for the chat! And you're right. Communication is essential to coexistence. I've always struggled with it. Asperger's Syndrome is funny that way. I may live and breathe among humans, but like most people, I'm not as fluent in peer bonding as I should be.
Alas, The Introvert Exposed.
I've started a phone fast and thus far I've actually been successful. Instead of using my quiet time this evening trapped in a number of social media apps on my Android, I decided to meditate.
I began at 9:02, having replaced my spider plant with my Buddha statue so that I had something to focus on. I sat back against the headboard with my legs folded and my palms up. On only one occasion did I become frightened by the depth of the trance into which I subsequently fell.
I planned to meditate until 9:32.
I noted subtle differences in energetic frequencies based on my posture. I found that leaning back against the headboard as opposed to supporting my upper body weight allowed me to relax. I also found that with my palms up and open I was more vulnerable to the sense of blissful dissociation that goes along with Zen meditation.
Then I was moved to cut a red circle out of construction paper (I used a spool of fishing line as a template) and tape it at eye level on my closet door so that I had something large enough and colorful enough to focus on during meditation. I replaced my Buddha statute with my spider plant and spent the next ten or fifteen minutes staring at the circle.
I lost it a number of times, needing to call it back to my attention.
I meditated until 9:32.
The practicality of such a simple means to attain balance is impressive. I now know that if at any point in the day I need a time out, I can come upstairs and focus on that red circle until I feel normal again. It will serve as a very quick way to reset until I have the opportunity to meditate on it for extended periods of time.
Now that I'm no longer using my Android, I have little else to keep me occupied at night.
It's weird.
See you on Facebook and Tumblr! starliper.corey@gmail.com
Alas, The Introvert Exposed.
I've started a phone fast and thus far I've actually been successful. Instead of using my quiet time this evening trapped in a number of social media apps on my Android, I decided to meditate.
I began at 9:02, having replaced my spider plant with my Buddha statue so that I had something to focus on. I sat back against the headboard with my legs folded and my palms up. On only one occasion did I become frightened by the depth of the trance into which I subsequently fell.
I planned to meditate until 9:32.
I noted subtle differences in energetic frequencies based on my posture. I found that leaning back against the headboard as opposed to supporting my upper body weight allowed me to relax. I also found that with my palms up and open I was more vulnerable to the sense of blissful dissociation that goes along with Zen meditation.
Then I was moved to cut a red circle out of construction paper (I used a spool of fishing line as a template) and tape it at eye level on my closet door so that I had something large enough and colorful enough to focus on during meditation. I replaced my Buddha statute with my spider plant and spent the next ten or fifteen minutes staring at the circle.
I lost it a number of times, needing to call it back to my attention.
I meditated until 9:32.
The practicality of such a simple means to attain balance is impressive. I now know that if at any point in the day I need a time out, I can come upstairs and focus on that red circle until I feel normal again. It will serve as a very quick way to reset until I have the opportunity to meditate on it for extended periods of time.
Now that I'm no longer using my Android, I have little else to keep me occupied at night.
It's weird.
See you on Facebook and Tumblr! starliper.corey@gmail.com
Welcome aboard, Shy
Not sure what prompted me to get up so early, but it can't be all bad. Getting up before everyone else means time alone, and time alone means time to welcome new readers to The Introvert Exposed.
My room is dark, the screen is bright, and my stomach begins to rumble as the sun stirs against the horizon.
Tonight may well be the first night I've had in the last four days to sit in silence with no distractions without falling asleep. I look forward to it.
The degree of serenity that I hope to reach has been used in pain studies. In one such study, participants' legs were prodded with a heated rod. Those participants' who had studied 1,000 hours or more of Zen meditation had an average pain tolerance of fifty degrees higher than the control group.
If such physical abilities are within reach, it makes me question me question how high a level I could reach spiritually.
When you consider things such as these, how does your heart respond?
My room is dark, the screen is bright, and my stomach begins to rumble as the sun stirs against the horizon.
Tonight may well be the first night I've had in the last four days to sit in silence with no distractions without falling asleep. I look forward to it.
The degree of serenity that I hope to reach has been used in pain studies. In one such study, participants' legs were prodded with a heated rod. Those participants' who had studied 1,000 hours or more of Zen meditation had an average pain tolerance of fifty degrees higher than the control group.
If such physical abilities are within reach, it makes me question me question how high a level I could reach spiritually.
When you consider things such as these, how does your heart respond?
posted from Bloggeroid
Saturday, January 28, 2017
9 more views to the 4,000-pageview mark!
When I started this blog I had a feeling it would take off but I didn't expect this degree of loyalty from my followers. 4,000 pageviews later, I feel that it's just now beginning to mature as rapidly as I.
I shared my last post with someone who later told me how 'eerie' it was that it was so relevant to what he was going through. When I reminded him that such is the way the Universe works (I've come to rely upon this with almost the same degree of faith as I do gravity), he told me that the same always catches him off guard.
This prompted me to sit down and knock out another post.
Relaxation is assuming a very important role in my life. This relaxation comes from taking that extra half second to respond so that I don't flail helplessly ten feet from the shore when all I need to do is put my goddamn feet down.
I do have a tendency to react quickly and in anger, and when I do I both look and feel like a moron. Installing a breaker between action and reaction falls into line with the concept of pulling when something else pushes. Reacting means instinctively pushing back. Action is not performed under duress. Rather, it is the invitation of a decisive response into a vacuum.
Huge difference.
See you on Facebook and Tumblr! starliper.corey@gmail.com
I shared my last post with someone who later told me how 'eerie' it was that it was so relevant to what he was going through. When I reminded him that such is the way the Universe works (I've come to rely upon this with almost the same degree of faith as I do gravity), he told me that the same always catches him off guard.
This prompted me to sit down and knock out another post.
Relaxation is assuming a very important role in my life. This relaxation comes from taking that extra half second to respond so that I don't flail helplessly ten feet from the shore when all I need to do is put my goddamn feet down.
I do have a tendency to react quickly and in anger, and when I do I both look and feel like a moron. Installing a breaker between action and reaction falls into line with the concept of pulling when something else pushes. Reacting means instinctively pushing back. Action is not performed under duress. Rather, it is the invitation of a decisive response into a vacuum.
Huge difference.
See you on Facebook and Tumblr! starliper.corey@gmail.com
Welcome aboard, Louanne
My post "access to the spiritual current," written back in September, stood out against all others.
Now, in this third chapter of The Introvert Exposed, I find myself referring to it more than ever.
It would seem that what had been an overarching theme in chapter one has become a sharp focus.
Less effort on a more focused causal link.
How much physical and spiritual energy do we sacrifice for the need to exert our will over what is?
We chase a dog and the dog runs away. We sit and it comes to us. We run from a hornet and the hornet gives chase. We let it investigate us and it flies away unprovoked.
I've begun to introduce moderation into my life.
Do I really need a huge energy drink or will a small one do just as well at half the price?
Do I need to eat until I'm full, or will one slice of pizza keep me going until I have access to a more sustainable food source?
Taking that extra half second to consider such things gives me the opportunity to slow my brain down, effectively reducing my impulsivity.
Friday, January 27, 2017
Proverbial factory reset in progress...
Last night I bought my fishing license for the year, and today, for the first time in months, I spent some time fishing along the Merrimack River in Lowell. It's not that fish don't feed in the winter...they just feed less frequently.
Got a few nibbles, believe it or not.
It was nice and I think I invited a number of good things into my life by doing it. If I remember correctly, I used fishing to avoid spending money over the summer. Now that this outlet is back in my life, I feel as though the stress that I've accumulated piece by piece since I got the new car can be released, cast by cast.
I feel at home on the water.
I made a deposit into my main account today. Next week's check will be rather insignificant, but I get the sense that the new pay period will mark the end of a spending spree that never should have happened in the first place.
I wonder if I relate money to stress. Do I trade stress for instant gratification? Or do I trade a possible solution to some of my problems for things I don't need to accumulate more stress...tides to struggle against?
Am I wired to self-destruct?
I began my stretching routine last night. It felt amazing and I can't wait to do it again tonight. My fitbit is charging. The dishwasher is running, and most things in this house have a home.
Time to flow with the karmic tides and begin reprogramming.
See you on Facebook and Tumblr! starliper.corey@gmail.com
Got a few nibbles, believe it or not.
It was nice and I think I invited a number of good things into my life by doing it. If I remember correctly, I used fishing to avoid spending money over the summer. Now that this outlet is back in my life, I feel as though the stress that I've accumulated piece by piece since I got the new car can be released, cast by cast.
I feel at home on the water.
I made a deposit into my main account today. Next week's check will be rather insignificant, but I get the sense that the new pay period will mark the end of a spending spree that never should have happened in the first place.
I wonder if I relate money to stress. Do I trade stress for instant gratification? Or do I trade a possible solution to some of my problems for things I don't need to accumulate more stress...tides to struggle against?
Am I wired to self-destruct?
I began my stretching routine last night. It felt amazing and I can't wait to do it again tonight. My fitbit is charging. The dishwasher is running, and most things in this house have a home.
Time to flow with the karmic tides and begin reprogramming.
See you on Facebook and Tumblr! starliper.corey@gmail.com
Thursday, January 26, 2017
Per Request: Surprise, surprise!
No huge shock here. Inspiration comes from all over the place, but I can't spin out ideas like a factory. When I get a request, I can usually find a way to relate it to one of my most pressing concerns, which affords me the ability to write it for myself, and to present it to someone else.
Due to a number of trivial glitches in my ability to manage stress lately, less like a beehive and more like a bunch of hungry mosquitos swarming around a campfire, I seem to have been bumped slightly off track in the way of my spending habits, my eating habits, and my spiritual conditioning.
As soon as I get the okay I'm going to start taking one of my medications again. With luck, it should set me on the right path again. I tried sitting quietly last night for about twenty minutes watching waves of color on my ceiling cast from this odd strobe light type contraption that my brother got me for Christmas, and fell asleep within three minutes...not exactly what I was going for.
Little problems seem to have bred and multiplied before my eyes since I got the new car. I love it, but all I seem to be doing is looking for reasons why it's not perfect, anymore. To be sure, medical problems have made it increasingly more difficult for me to have the patience to stay on top of things, and of course, that does not bode well for my stress...or my room...or my spiritual condition...or...
Fuck it, I won't go there.
There are so many things I could complain about, and plenty more to be grateful for.
I am suddenly reminded that the brain will go to great lengths to prove us right regardless of whether or not we are fundamentally correct in our thinking. I need to install changes in my system from the outside in. Like a computer. We can't run software we've not introduced to our brain. I need to act my way into thinking, because thinking my way into action is a lot more work. An object in motion tends to stay in motion. If I believe that frustration will come to pass, it probably will.
All I need to do to invite good things to happen is to believe that they will.
See you on Facebook and Tumblr! starliper.corey@gmail.com
Wednesday, January 25, 2017
Back on the blogging bus...
I ate the frog this morning and got some cleaning out of the way so I have time for a quick post. I didn't work last night so I decided to replace not talking to anybody with heading to the gym and getting one of the best workouts I've ever had in my life. I pushed four muscle groups to failure and finished with 15 minutes of stretching.
When I arrived home I sent a pdf. of a number of stretching techniques to my email so I could print it out and run through each of the stretches daily. I think at the very least it will set me on a path toward balancing my body, and I am considering taking some yoga classes or picking them up on NetFlix or Amazon Prime once I have enough of an understanding of basic stretching techniques to at least hold the right posture.
It feels good to be in front of the computer again. My apologies for my recent sabbatical. It's been somewhat of a rollercoaster ride here lately and I'm glad things have finally slowed down enough for me to run a proverbial factory reset, if you will. What can I say? I do things in chunks.
It was good to see that my numbers stayed high yesterday even in the wake of my being somewhat separated from this blog emotionally. I've been giving away a number of business cards lately, but it's been more of a spraying and praying attempt to get people interested than a concerted focused effort to attract new followers. From now on I'll be telling whoever is in the right frame of mind to receive a business card from me that I will dedicate a post to them that evening, and to have them look for it in the next couple of days.
It's interesting how things I learned in the last chapter have carried over into this one. Things I had forgotten about are slowly resurfacing.
Less flailing. Less fighting.
More flowing. More focus.
Where I was uncomfortable with those things before, they now present as a vibrant orb, almost like a beacon that sends me into trance the longer I stay tuned into it. I had arrived at what I thought was Eden when my financial troubles disappeared, but I had forgotten to take with me the tools that I had used to navigate my life before. I reasoned that there was 'nothing here.' I was wrong. There is plenty here. I had simply arrived naked, my tools scattered about a vast expansion of hope I had cherished before my arrival. With these tools, I will begin to till this strange new land.
See you on Facebook and Tumblr! starliper.corey@gmail.com
When I arrived home I sent a pdf. of a number of stretching techniques to my email so I could print it out and run through each of the stretches daily. I think at the very least it will set me on a path toward balancing my body, and I am considering taking some yoga classes or picking them up on NetFlix or Amazon Prime once I have enough of an understanding of basic stretching techniques to at least hold the right posture.
It feels good to be in front of the computer again. My apologies for my recent sabbatical. It's been somewhat of a rollercoaster ride here lately and I'm glad things have finally slowed down enough for me to run a proverbial factory reset, if you will. What can I say? I do things in chunks.
It was good to see that my numbers stayed high yesterday even in the wake of my being somewhat separated from this blog emotionally. I've been giving away a number of business cards lately, but it's been more of a spraying and praying attempt to get people interested than a concerted focused effort to attract new followers. From now on I'll be telling whoever is in the right frame of mind to receive a business card from me that I will dedicate a post to them that evening, and to have them look for it in the next couple of days.
It's interesting how things I learned in the last chapter have carried over into this one. Things I had forgotten about are slowly resurfacing.
Less flailing. Less fighting.
More flowing. More focus.
Where I was uncomfortable with those things before, they now present as a vibrant orb, almost like a beacon that sends me into trance the longer I stay tuned into it. I had arrived at what I thought was Eden when my financial troubles disappeared, but I had forgotten to take with me the tools that I had used to navigate my life before. I reasoned that there was 'nothing here.' I was wrong. There is plenty here. I had simply arrived naked, my tools scattered about a vast expansion of hope I had cherished before my arrival. With these tools, I will begin to till this strange new land.
See you on Facebook and Tumblr! starliper.corey@gmail.com
Tuesday, January 24, 2017
Sitting in silence every night...
Meditation has become a recurring focus in my life recently. Aided by having set myself a schedule for when I can be on my phone, I've decided that every night after work, I'm going to meditate. I'm going to sit in silence in the basement and just be. No phone. No distractions. Just a clock on the cable box letting me know how long I've been down there.
I'm going to start with 20 minutes and work my way up.
Where I used to be afraid of being alone without things to distract me, I now crave the peace and serenity which is sure to come along with it. Tonight will be the exception, but I will meditate at work. My training for this evening will include staying in the present moment as often as I can, and not speaking unless spoken to. I've done the latter successfully before.
The former is my unicorn.
See you on Facebook and Tumblr! starliper.corey@gmail.com
I'm going to start with 20 minutes and work my way up.
Where I used to be afraid of being alone without things to distract me, I now crave the peace and serenity which is sure to come along with it. Tonight will be the exception, but I will meditate at work. My training for this evening will include staying in the present moment as often as I can, and not speaking unless spoken to. I've done the latter successfully before.
The former is my unicorn.
See you on Facebook and Tumblr! starliper.corey@gmail.com
Thursday, January 19, 2017
As soon as I stopped looking, I started seeing...
The persistence of the illusion that time is linear is mind boggling. We rise and sleep by it. It is the light by which we search for answers to questions we are certain will lead us to truth.
Where before, my Universe grew infinitely smaller as I drew closer to answers to my own question, it now grows infinitely larger.
The latest revelation comes in the wake of my decision to stop looking...and with my seeming inability to do so.
Karma holds that each sentient being on the planet has complete agency. How can any of our intentions come to pass without affecting the agency of anyone caught in the karmic path?
We pray to God, please let this happen, please let that happen. We pray to our Creators with the hope, and for many of us, the understanding, that Divine Providence will move people, places and things into alignment with our intentions.
How can 7 billion people go about their lives without affecting the quantum fields of everyone around them?
The simplest explanation--which tends to be the right one--is that there is a separate space/time continuum for every sentient being on the planet, and that somewhere, 7 billion alternate realities are occurring simultaneously, each contributing it's own unique strand to the incalculably intricate mosaic that runs through each of our lives.
See you on Facebook and Tumblr! starliper.corey@gmail.com
Wednesday, January 18, 2017
Quantum Exposed: Wresting Color from the Canvas; 6
This 'House Rule' and others can be found in Dan Millman's book Living on Purpose. I accredit all direct quotations regarding the House Rules to Dan Millman. The subsequent lay analysis is mine.
I want to be clear on one thing: I am not being paid to convey the information contained herewith. My intention is to use the concepts contained herewith to give my more ambitious readers, including myself, a Universal Law on which to reflect daily.
1. Earth is a school and daily life is our classroom
2. Our teachers appear in many forms
3. We learn best through direct experience
4. Failures are the stepping stones to success
5. Lessons reappear until we learn them
6. If we don't learn the easy lessons, they get harder
Unlike the professor who leaves his door open for extra help and graciously tends to his flock, the Universe has a relatively objective stance on whether or not you learn your lesson the first time. Instead of showing you the same thing over and over with the same silly smile and a pat on the back, the Universe cranks up the dial.
Each time I relapsed, it took me longer to get sober again.
Moving violations carry increased surcharges through your insurance company for each consecutive infraction within a certain number of calendar years. I think they vary by state.
Murphy's Law--anything that can go wrong will go wrong--can be arrested if we take the first few blunders with a smile and a grain of salt. If we stay pissy, the hits keep coming faster and faster until we arrive home exhausted, ready to collapse into a warm bed only to realize that we forgot to dry the goddamn sheets before we left the house.
Keep an eye out. Keep your heart open. Lessons are all around us.
What is the most important question in your life right now?
See you on Facebook and Tumblr! starliper.corey@gmail.com
1. Earth is a school and daily life is our classroom
2. Our teachers appear in many forms
3. We learn best through direct experience
4. Failures are the stepping stones to success
5. Lessons reappear until we learn them
6. If we don't learn the easy lessons, they get harder
Unlike the professor who leaves his door open for extra help and graciously tends to his flock, the Universe has a relatively objective stance on whether or not you learn your lesson the first time. Instead of showing you the same thing over and over with the same silly smile and a pat on the back, the Universe cranks up the dial.
Each time I relapsed, it took me longer to get sober again.
Moving violations carry increased surcharges through your insurance company for each consecutive infraction within a certain number of calendar years. I think they vary by state.
Murphy's Law--anything that can go wrong will go wrong--can be arrested if we take the first few blunders with a smile and a grain of salt. If we stay pissy, the hits keep coming faster and faster until we arrive home exhausted, ready to collapse into a warm bed only to realize that we forgot to dry the goddamn sheets before we left the house.
Keep an eye out. Keep your heart open. Lessons are all around us.
What is the most important question in your life right now?
See you on Facebook and Tumblr! starliper.corey@gmail.com
Sunday, January 15, 2017
Taking a few days off to get the new story on wheels...
If anyone needs me...it's my little girl.
I'll catch up with you all in a few days!
See you on Facebook and Tumblr! starliper.corey@gmail.com
I'll catch up with you all in a few days!
See you on Facebook and Tumblr! starliper.corey@gmail.com
Saturday, January 14, 2017
Welcome aboard, Nicole...
Thank you for the help today. Very accomodating :)
I typically carry four business cards with me and it's ironic that I only had one left because I've found myself giving them out more and more.
Thank you also for the sterling silver suggestion. I probably wouldn't have thought of that myself.
I do plan to at least set the wheels in motion to publish a short story anthology by sometime next year, so if anybody knows a guy who knows a guy, I could use the in. In the publishing industry, it's a combination of who you know, the strength of your writing and how much you're willing to sacrifice to bring the most fundamental aspects of the story to your audience through the eyes of someone else.
Few stories go unmolested in at least some capacity by the time they hit the shelf.
A couple of people referred to last night's post as dark, even aggravating. It was certainly that, namely because I was pissed off yesterday. I found myself discussing the meaning of life with someone this morning before admitting that I no longer give a shit what the meaning of life is.
If I spend my whole life searching, I'll find a lifetime worth of moments replaced by desperate pleadings for something bigger than what really is.
How can I know that what is won't be sufficient when I experience it? I haven't experienced it yet. I've been too busy coming to my own conclusions, conclusions which, in the grand scheme of things, probably don't mean much.
I've neglected truth not to find answers, but to ensure that answers would never come. I have always needed tides to struggle against.
My challenge now is to let go...
See you on Facebook and Tumblr! starliper.corey@gmail.com
I typically carry four business cards with me and it's ironic that I only had one left because I've found myself giving them out more and more.
Thank you also for the sterling silver suggestion. I probably wouldn't have thought of that myself.
I do plan to at least set the wheels in motion to publish a short story anthology by sometime next year, so if anybody knows a guy who knows a guy, I could use the in. In the publishing industry, it's a combination of who you know, the strength of your writing and how much you're willing to sacrifice to bring the most fundamental aspects of the story to your audience through the eyes of someone else.
Few stories go unmolested in at least some capacity by the time they hit the shelf.
A couple of people referred to last night's post as dark, even aggravating. It was certainly that, namely because I was pissed off yesterday. I found myself discussing the meaning of life with someone this morning before admitting that I no longer give a shit what the meaning of life is.
If I spend my whole life searching, I'll find a lifetime worth of moments replaced by desperate pleadings for something bigger than what really is.
How can I know that what is won't be sufficient when I experience it? I haven't experienced it yet. I've been too busy coming to my own conclusions, conclusions which, in the grand scheme of things, probably don't mean much.
I've neglected truth not to find answers, but to ensure that answers would never come. I have always needed tides to struggle against.
My challenge now is to let go...
See you on Facebook and Tumblr! starliper.corey@gmail.com
Friday, January 13, 2017
I hate my mind...
How do you describe something as abstract as the mind?
And what's with all these deep questions I can't stop asking myself?
When I go into my mind to find something, anything, it's like I'm looking through a tube. My periphery is circular, and my heart is completely absent.
I forget things I should remember, and perseverate on things I wish I could forget. My mind is always in fifth gear. Thoughts I don't want to think won't take no for an answer, and the harder I try to push them away, the more weight they seem to have.
I want to stop searching and start feeling, but just knowing that I'm doing that is enough to keep me trapped in my head while the rest of me carries on, seemingly without rhyme or reason.
I feel lonely and I'm afraid to say that. Happiness has nothing to do with money, and I'm afraid to speak that aloud because I know it's taken me years to come that realization.
I thought that the joy was in the destination. It's not. It's in the journey. It has to be, because I've reached the destination to which I've assigned myself, and there's nothing here.
Slowly, pieces of the Cosmic puzzle float from the yonder to where my consciousness resides. I will find what I'm looking for,
I just might not know it when I have enough information to apply these pieces practically, and to close the second chapter of this blog.
See you on Facebook and Tumblr! starliper.corey@gmail.com
Wednesday, January 11, 2017
Spiritual displacement theory...
I recorded previously that I felt as though the Universe was testing me. I now have a reliable vehicle, a reliable source of income, my sobriety, my daughter and my faith in the proposition that intention creates reality.
What I didn't expect was to arrive at such a point where being content became a stressor.
I never presumed that contentment was a form of stress relief, because I've been presented with no evidence suggesting that the stress we feel when we are fearful or scared has a polar opposite in the realm of true happiness.
However, I did ask for it.
I asked the Universe for a spiritual challenge.
Protect me from stress so I can search my heart.
The relief is overwhelming, but it isn't quite what I've been looking for, which is scary because I've always thought that as long as I could achieve a perfect balance in the material world, I would find my proverbial Eden, one of them, anyway.
I can't tell you what the answer is, but I can testify, under duress, to what it isn't.
See you on Facebook and Tumblr! starliper.corey@gmail.com
What I didn't expect was to arrive at such a point where being content became a stressor.
I never presumed that contentment was a form of stress relief, because I've been presented with no evidence suggesting that the stress we feel when we are fearful or scared has a polar opposite in the realm of true happiness.
However, I did ask for it.
I asked the Universe for a spiritual challenge.
Protect me from stress so I can search my heart.
The relief is overwhelming, but it isn't quite what I've been looking for, which is scary because I've always thought that as long as I could achieve a perfect balance in the material world, I would find my proverbial Eden, one of them, anyway.
I can't tell you what the answer is, but I can testify, under duress, to what it isn't.
See you on Facebook and Tumblr! starliper.corey@gmail.com
Sunday, January 8, 2017
Eating the frog...
My mom read me this article about how people procrastinate for x amount of minutes per day. Over 200 I think it said.
It encourages people to 'eat the frog,' in other words picking the thing on your list that you least want to do and getting it out of the way first. Supposedly it has enormous impact on depression, productivity and overall well-being.
One frog, rare, light on the mayo.
Side of fries.
The Universe is testing me...
Lessons in humility...lesson after lesson after lesson in humility. My car won't start and I can't take the key out. Instead of having a shit fit, I prayed, and the option of getting a new car has been presented to me. Actually, it was presented with much less grief than I thought it would be. I feel as though I'm handling the situation quite well, though I did turn my phone on for a moment to see who would be there for me .
All I need to do now is stay open, honest with myself, sober, calm, quiet and humble. Part of this series of lessons is that I can't see past today when I could before. The Universe wants to see how I respond under pressure.
I'm okay, right here, right now.
See you on Facebook and Tumblr! starliper.corey@gmail.com
All I need to do now is stay open, honest with myself, sober, calm, quiet and humble. Part of this series of lessons is that I can't see past today when I could before. The Universe wants to see how I respond under pressure.
I'm okay, right here, right now.
See you on Facebook and Tumblr! starliper.corey@gmail.com
Saturday, January 7, 2017
I still feel like a kid when it snows...
With 5-8 inches expected today, I am hardly able to contain the childlike glee which has always visited me when everybody freaks out about a snow storm.
I remember trudging through snow drifts as high as my waist when Winter Storm Nemo came barreling through in February of 2013. What fun! My dad had to snowblow his way out of the garage and subsequently cursed the chains that kept falling off the tractor tires, which only added to the amusement.
Two years ago, we broke several records for snowfall, which amounted to a little less than 9 feet over a period of 35 days. I had to dig a path out in the yard for Olivia because the snow was over her head. How I miss being a child!
They say that with the changing weather patterns, we can expect less frequent snowfall but that we can expect high accumulation when we do get it.
I don't know if that was just hype in response to Nemo--winter 2015 was pretty much a 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 6, 7 punch of one Nor'easter after another--but I'm really hoping that it warms up a tad in the next couple of storms so we can get snowball snow, which, of course, means less accumulation but a much more fascinating type!
I want to build a snowman with Monkey.
See you on Facebook and Tumblr! starliper.corey@gmail.com
I remember trudging through snow drifts as high as my waist when Winter Storm Nemo came barreling through in February of 2013. What fun! My dad had to snowblow his way out of the garage and subsequently cursed the chains that kept falling off the tractor tires, which only added to the amusement.
Two years ago, we broke several records for snowfall, which amounted to a little less than 9 feet over a period of 35 days. I had to dig a path out in the yard for Olivia because the snow was over her head. How I miss being a child!
They say that with the changing weather patterns, we can expect less frequent snowfall but that we can expect high accumulation when we do get it.
I don't know if that was just hype in response to Nemo--winter 2015 was pretty much a 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 6, 7 punch of one Nor'easter after another--but I'm really hoping that it warms up a tad in the next couple of storms so we can get snowball snow, which, of course, means less accumulation but a much more fascinating type!
I want to build a snowman with Monkey.
See you on Facebook and Tumblr! starliper.corey@gmail.com
Quantum Exposed: Wresting Color from the Canvas; 5
This 'House Rule' and others can be found in Dan Millman's book Living on Purpose. I accredit all direct quotations regarding the House Rules to Dan Millman. The subsequent lay analysis is mine.
I want to be clear on one thing: I am not being paid to convey the information contained herewith. My intention is to use the concepts contained herewith to give my more ambitious readers, including myself, a Universal Law on which to reflect daily.
1. Earth is a school; daily life is our classroom
2. Our teachers appear in many forms
3. We learn best through direct experience4. Failures are Stepping Stones to Success
5. Lessons reappear until we learn them
I have a tendency to beat my head against the wall like a woodpecker. Many of us do if you really think about it. Fortunately, time isn't linear. I've taken detours as long as ten years to find myself back at the starting line with a whole new appreciation for the way things work.
All lessons reappear until we learn them. We are, after all, students of life. As Millman's mentor Socrates said: "We are all fools together." Life is designed to force failure. That is how we learn. The Universe is no less patient with us as the Ultimate Teacher than the professor who keeps his door open for students needing extra help.
See you on Facebook and Tumblr! starliper.corey@gmail.com
1. Earth is a school; daily life is our classroom
2. Our teachers appear in many forms
3. We learn best through direct experience4. Failures are Stepping Stones to Success
5. Lessons reappear until we learn them
I have a tendency to beat my head against the wall like a woodpecker. Many of us do if you really think about it. Fortunately, time isn't linear. I've taken detours as long as ten years to find myself back at the starting line with a whole new appreciation for the way things work.
All lessons reappear until we learn them. We are, after all, students of life. As Millman's mentor Socrates said: "We are all fools together." Life is designed to force failure. That is how we learn. The Universe is no less patient with us as the Ultimate Teacher than the professor who keeps his door open for students needing extra help.
See you on Facebook and Tumblr! starliper.corey@gmail.com
Friday, January 6, 2017
Take emotional risks you don't think you're ready to take...
...because even if the risk doesn't pay off, you can give yourself credit for having the courage to take it.
Lately, I have been taking emotional risks, standing before a cliff with wings I haven't learned how to use and hoping that I'll learn on the way down.
A sapling needs to struggle to life without shelter from the elements, because the constant battering of wind and rain build it's resistance to the same.
In the end, there stands a mighty tree, capable of withstanding the harshest of conditions with minor wounds, if any at all.
If we shelter our heart from pain and never learn to use it, the opportunities we might have had to feel our way through important lessons may fall victim to oversight.
Spread those wings!
See you on Facebook and Tumblr! starliper.corey@gmail.com
Lately, I have been taking emotional risks, standing before a cliff with wings I haven't learned how to use and hoping that I'll learn on the way down.
A sapling needs to struggle to life without shelter from the elements, because the constant battering of wind and rain build it's resistance to the same.
In the end, there stands a mighty tree, capable of withstanding the harshest of conditions with minor wounds, if any at all.
If we shelter our heart from pain and never learn to use it, the opportunities we might have had to feel our way through important lessons may fall victim to oversight.
Spread those wings!
See you on Facebook and Tumblr! starliper.corey@gmail.com
Wednesday, January 4, 2017
How to reconcile with being human without driving yourself crazy...
A good friend of mine is struggling lately with much the same thing as I was a few months ago.
The Loop.
I've felt trapped in eternity, as I describe in The Autism Superbug series, and many individuals whom I consider friends have had similar feelings.
The reality is, we cannot know what is impossible to know as human beings. We have a very limited perspective and yet we fall under this delusion that we have the corner market on what happens when we expire and why. We take information we've gathered and filter it, first through our mind and then through our unique perspectives as individuals.
We don't even know what the mind is, let alone where it falls in the scheme of things, so it can be ruled out as a reliable source of information.
Stop driving yourself crazy and start putting the energy toward something useful, like making memories with family.
See you on Facebook and Tumblr! starliper.corey@gmail.com
The Loop.
I've felt trapped in eternity, as I describe in The Autism Superbug series, and many individuals whom I consider friends have had similar feelings.
The reality is, we cannot know what is impossible to know as human beings. We have a very limited perspective and yet we fall under this delusion that we have the corner market on what happens when we expire and why. We take information we've gathered and filter it, first through our mind and then through our unique perspectives as individuals.
We don't even know what the mind is, let alone where it falls in the scheme of things, so it can be ruled out as a reliable source of information.
Stop driving yourself crazy and start putting the energy toward something useful, like making memories with family.
See you on Facebook and Tumblr! starliper.corey@gmail.com
Quantum Exposed: Wresting Color from the Canvas; 4
This 'House Rule' and others can be found in Dan Millman's book Living on Purpose. I accredit all direct quotations regarding the House Rules to Dan Millman. The subsequent lay analysis is mine.
I want to be clear on one thing: I am not being paid to convey the information contained herewith. My intention is to use the concepts contained herewith to give my more ambitious readers, including myself, a Universal Law on which to reflect daily.
1. Earth is a school; daily life is our classroom
2. Our teachers appear in many forms
3. We learn best through direct experience
4. Failures are Stepping Stones to Success
Samuel Beckett said: "Try again, fail again, fail better."
Each time we make a mistake, we have a choice. We can learn from that mistake, or we can make it again until we do. Trial and error is the method by which we learn and grow. Big blunders are often the results of minor adjustments that we overlooked and are subsequently made aware of. This is one of many reasons that we learn best through direct experience--it gives us the opportunity to screw up!
See you on Facebook and Tumblr! starliper.corey@gmail.com
1. Earth is a school; daily life is our classroom
2. Our teachers appear in many forms
3. We learn best through direct experience
4. Failures are Stepping Stones to Success
Samuel Beckett said: "Try again, fail again, fail better."
Each time we make a mistake, we have a choice. We can learn from that mistake, or we can make it again until we do. Trial and error is the method by which we learn and grow. Big blunders are often the results of minor adjustments that we overlooked and are subsequently made aware of. This is one of many reasons that we learn best through direct experience--it gives us the opportunity to screw up!
See you on Facebook and Tumblr! starliper.corey@gmail.com
Things are moving too quickly this morning...
A crawling start to a fast-paced day. I thought I would knock out a post while I had breakfast and before the day really speeds up. So much to do, so little time, and the common denominator between the two is my perception. I hope to get a bird's eye view of today by writing a post--bleeding the pipes--so that I can get a clean, crisp, clear understanding of what do next.
See you on Facebook and Tumblr! starliper.corey@gmail.com
See you on Facebook and Tumblr! starliper.corey@gmail.com
Tuesday, January 3, 2017
Insert catchy title here...
I feel like it's been a long time since I've posted here, but looking back it's only been about two days, two days for which I've been trapped in my head, so deeply involved in the story I'm writing that everything else seems to be falling into the background.
I had mentioned that I was taking a quick sabbatical to figure out how to finish this latest piece. Now I have the answer, a really good answer, and simply haven't had the time to sit down and work on it, save short spurts of typing up what I had already written. For this next section I'll need a couple hours of peace and quiet, and the spiritual strength to dig deeper than I ever have before to get it to read the right way, and to resonate with my readers the way I think it should.
Thank you go guys so much for reading and following. I'll post in the next day or so. If I'm lucky, I'll have some time on Friday to bring Tempest Creek to life.
See you on Facebook and Tumblr! starliper.corey@gmail.com
I had mentioned that I was taking a quick sabbatical to figure out how to finish this latest piece. Now I have the answer, a really good answer, and simply haven't had the time to sit down and work on it, save short spurts of typing up what I had already written. For this next section I'll need a couple hours of peace and quiet, and the spiritual strength to dig deeper than I ever have before to get it to read the right way, and to resonate with my readers the way I think it should.
Thank you go guys so much for reading and following. I'll post in the next day or so. If I'm lucky, I'll have some time on Friday to bring Tempest Creek to life.
See you on Facebook and Tumblr! starliper.corey@gmail.com
Sunday, January 1, 2017
Start the new year off right...
Many of you have New Year's resolutions. I had my own growing up, but the problem with New Year's resolutions is that they are doomed to fail. Want to start the year off right?
Don't start it at all.
Whether you have monetary goals, social goals, spiritual, physical or occupational goals, you have the same chance to start the new year today as you did when you woke up yesterday or the day before last.
Google Calendar allows you to click back as far as you want. I clicked back to this date 1 year ago just to see if I could do it. The only difference between last year and this one--aside from the day of the week--is one number, a digital fart, a slightly more complicated stroke of the pen, a--
Oh, yes, I'm persevorating, as most people do on that one stupid little stinkin' number.
Admittedly, the charm of New Year's day lies in the sense of renewal that we feel, a clean slate as it were. Since I'm Pagan, my clean slate started on Halloween, but even I have a tendency to be taken by the sense of power that January 1st brings.
Making a resolution and breaking it 3 days into the New Year invites the universe to rain down upon you with chaos for the next 362 days.
What if every day was a new year, though? And isn't it? Today marks exactly one year prior to a year from now. So does tomorrow. And tomorrow.
Enjoy the free wash, but don't dump a year's worth of karma into a problem you can only tackle one day at a time. Put a full day's work into doing the best that you possibly can. You'll start to feel the difference in the way you carry yourself when you see those days start to add up.
See you on Facebook and Tumblr! starliper.corey@gmail.com
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