I rediscovered my Goddess this evening. I guess you could call it a spiritual awakening.
For a while, I had turned away from Her in pursuit of something that would give me a sense of power that I never actually found. Tonight, I find Power and Strength in a working relationship with the Goddess that I have known for several years, the Goddess to Whom I prayed to help me get sober, and Who has given me so much insight into raising my daughter.
There's a sense of healing that comes with the sudden shift, but it wasn't easy. I asked my Goddess to fill my heart and to remove from me all those things which no longer serve me, so that I can in turn serve Her with purity. Purity, Simplicity, and the awareness that the Universe speaks in whispers are the basic requirements for obtaining a sense of spiritual accomplishment along the Pagan path. I learned this a very long time ago, but a failed marriage, a divorce and rapid succession of relapses led me to abandon spirituality in favor of playing my hand close.
Those precious, toxic negative energies almost ate me alive, and that was my mistake.
I now have 18 months sober and the Goddess I rejected has called me back into Her embrace. It's warm here. The relief of truly humbling myself before a Higher Power is overwhelming. My spiritual battery is on the mend, and I feel more in control than I did when I was wandering the 'Drift'--reference a previous post by the same title--looking for a port.
For now, I'm home.
