I had a breakthrough during my weekly sit in Chelmsford. One member was absent. Two were new. After chanting, we were guided into sound awareness and eventually into a stillness I've never felt before. I had only had an hour of sleep the night before and I thought I might fall asleep during the sit but I didn't. In fact, as I let myself relax, I realized how on-guard I had been prior to the sit. With the energy no longer being spent on coming down from a long day at work, I became more focused, more centered, and less tired.
My breakthrough came when I was able to observe my body's natural respiratory rhythm without deliberately overriding it. Prior to that night, whenever someone would remind me of my breathing, I would instinctively try to control it and to will it back into perfect rhythm again. That night I was able to separate myself from my breathing and be consciously aware of it at the same time!
I don't think it was a mini-sleep. I was too focused on my breathing and the sounds in the area to call the sit at that point anything other than very controlled.
I have not meditated in the interim.
My experiment as to whether or not telling people your intention decreased the chances of those intentions materializing was a success in that it really wasn't a controlled experiment. I set out to prove something without having a system in place. Just a goal, and I fizzled out because in revealing my intention to write everyday, I gave my brain a reason to rejoice and then relax, to relax so much that I've actually avoided writing for the last week.
Maybe more on this later. I don't know yet. I'm feeling thinky.
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