I feel like I want to blog but have no idea what to blog about. I feel like I'm pregnant, like a message is contracting my soul begging to be let loose. I'm trying as hard as I can to urge that message to the surface, but it's blocked by a seeming inability to express myself. It can't breathe.
I feel it. It's almost up...
The fire, the passion, the hunger that I used to have for life...I want it again, damn it! I want to find artistic opportunity in everything. I want to feel the presence of my Higher Power in my life. I want to have access to a level of consciousness that allows me to receive direction from all things earthly. I had all of these things before relapsing several years ago.
But now I'm sober.
Abstinence is not enough for me. I need to wrest every possible drop of satisfaction that I can from the opportunity to be sober, this unmerited gift. How many people had to die for me to get sober and to subsequently screw around with my recovery?
I want the spiritual gifts that go along with being sober--and I want them now!
See you on Facebook! starliper.corey@gmail.com
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