The Tunnel

Lately I've been in what I like to call the Tunnel. It's not the Waiting Place--I think I have a post by the same name--it's the Rabbit Hole, where I get so obsessed, specifically with my relationship with my readers, that the rest of the world becomes a distraction and I try to run from it. 

I think that part of the reason I visit the tunnel is so that I can break the sense of isolation that I feel. I feel connected to my readers when I'm writing like I am now, and especially when I see that the number of hits on my blog has gone up since the last time I checked. 

It means I have an outlet. It means I'm not alone. It means I don't need to be depressed if I don't want to be because at the very least, my readers understand. I will say that as the weeks and months roll by, the number of followers on my blog increase, and that the number of people who read my column in Your Tewksbury Today has remained about a hundred for the last several articles. Those who do read my work are incredibly loyal. When I release a blog post, I usually have 12 hits within just a few minutes, like people wait for me to release it.

I can say that the feeling of moving forward was and still is very real, but it's lonely work and I don't like that. I would like to bring the sense of freedom that I feel to other people but I can't do that without coming way the hell out of my shell and just doing it instead of only talking about doing it. I'm not a hypocrite. I believe what I write and I try to live by it, but when I'm in this goddamn tunnel the only thing I can see is a light piercing a vastness of darkness that seems to stretch on for miles in every direction.

Where do I go from here? How do I break these chains without losing myself? Maybe more on this later tonight...gotta go for now. 

See you on my new Facebook page! theintrovertexposedcs@gmail.com