Only this time I'm going to write from my heart instead of my head. I'm very distracted, cloudy, but emotionally there seems to be something I'm yearning for but can't quite lay a hand on yet. I had mentioned during my last string on not binge eating on carbohydrates that I was beginning to feel the love and joy of the Christmas season. Now I can feel it but not like before. I feel like it should mean more.
I'm full, I'm exhausted and I just can't seem to stay in the moment. What I did do right this morning was that I was more deliberate about staying clutter free. I wasn't successful but I was able to push myself mentally a bit further than I was yesterday. I feel like every day I'm getting a tiny bit better, but it's taking so freaking long. I feel it's been the 18th for about a week now and it's not even here yet. I've been eating too much so I feel guilty and less than, but my craving for a drink is beginning to fade.
I bought my crabs a treat today, namely because I wasn't financially in any position to buy them more than I did, which ended up being compressed coconut fiber. Calcium rich sand just doesn't cut it for crabs even though they advertise it specifically to hermit crab owners. Coconut fiber serves as a dirt so they can burrow and molt in privacy and safety, and since you need to use water to get the coconut fiber to expand (I used a large bucket from in the garage and was actually able to expand the coconut fiber in my room without getting it all over the place--it's dryer than you might think), it bumps up the humidity in the enclosure making it easier for them to breathe. Historically whenever I go through any major change in my life, one of my crabs molts or switches shells.
Let's see what this more appropriate hermit crab environment does for my life.
See you on my new Facebook page! theintrovertexposedcs@gmail.com
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