The question took me by surprise, though perhaps not as much as your honesty. I'm impressed. Most people in such a position would not have imparted that information to me. I am grateful that you did, because it gives me the opportunity to address not only a question I think a lot of people have about what their social future will hold, but also a concern.
My 'per request' posts have a tendency to do astonishingly well. At this point I think it's safe to say that that will continue as this blog matures. Accompanying every single one of those posts, I got a feeling in the pit of my stomach...the same feeling, over and over again. It happens whenever my intuition reaches out for something. To put it mildly, the topic that you proposed caught my attention.
I used to have the same question. The result afforded me my one and only child, of whom I now have sole custody. The divorce was bitter and emotionally exhausting. It was also expensive.
While the central problem of the marriage was my ex wife's insistence upon my emotional separation from my friends and family, I couldn't help but feel that the intense fear of being alone had caused me to rush at an opportunity on which I was not yet mature enough to capitalize.
I will never say that Olivia was the result of a mistake. Children come when the Universe puts them in our lives, but the subsequent destruction of my esteem, my estate and my outlook upon life might have been absent from the equation had I known then what I do now.
First and foremost, human beings are social creatures. We seek romantic connection with others to satisfy the primal desire to feel love. However, codependence can creep into the equation when we begin to use intimacy, or the hope for intimacy, to mask our fears regarding inadequacies, fears which govern our lives from day to day already. Focusing on the satisfaction that will come along with having a partner--the perfect partner by the way; we only dream in excess--takes energy you cannot afford to exert if you hope to enjoy the type of relationship that will satisfy that need.
Where you are in your life is exactly where you are supposed to be. My hope for you is that this blog will open spiritual doors of which you were not aware, and upon whose energy you can rely for guidance in matters such as this.
Karma, as I've come to understand it, is a law, as verifiable and repeatable as the physical laws governing this planet. If you maintain all aspects of your life as they are, and dedicate yourself to being better everyday, then you will, by default, become someone else's focus in the long run.
See you on Facebook and Tumblr! starliper.corey@gmail.com
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