No huge shock here. Inspiration comes from all over the place, but I can't spin out ideas like a factory. When I get a request, I can usually find a way to relate it to one of my most pressing concerns, which affords me the ability to write it for myself, and to present it to someone else.
Due to a number of trivial glitches in my ability to manage stress lately, less like a beehive and more like a bunch of hungry mosquitos swarming around a campfire, I seem to have been bumped slightly off track in the way of my spending habits, my eating habits, and my spiritual conditioning.
As soon as I get the okay I'm going to start taking one of my medications again. With luck, it should set me on the right path again. I tried sitting quietly last night for about twenty minutes watching waves of color on my ceiling cast from this odd strobe light type contraption that my brother got me for Christmas, and fell asleep within three minutes...not exactly what I was going for.
Little problems seem to have bred and multiplied before my eyes since I got the new car. I love it, but all I seem to be doing is looking for reasons why it's not perfect, anymore. To be sure, medical problems have made it increasingly more difficult for me to have the patience to stay on top of things, and of course, that does not bode well for my stress...or my room...or my spiritual condition...or...
Fuck it, I won't go there.
There are so many things I could complain about, and plenty more to be grateful for.
I am suddenly reminded that the brain will go to great lengths to prove us right regardless of whether or not we are fundamentally correct in our thinking. I need to install changes in my system from the outside in. Like a computer. We can't run software we've not introduced to our brain. I need to act my way into thinking, because thinking my way into action is a lot more work. An object in motion tends to stay in motion. If I believe that frustration will come to pass, it probably will.
All I need to do to invite good things to happen is to believe that they will.
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