What being a pianist in the future means for my life now...

About a year and a half ago I had this crazy idea that I would start training for the Boston Marathon. Whatever had gotten into me then is into me now, only this time it's about music, and firmly rooted in reality instead of amphetamine-induced psychosis.

I'm ready to put everything I've learned about spirituality into composing music that I enjoy hearing played back.

On a hunch, I pulled out my journal today thinking I would find an entry in it that I could reproduce here. In the limited amount of time I had before heading off to a sobriety meeting, I didn't find one. What I did find were similarities in the ways in which I had embraced training. Many of them were unsuccessful. Of those that were, all included delusions of grandeur and no reasonable plan of action.

There was something else that jumped out at me, though, something I wrote that didn't stick but applies to everything I need in my life right now. Paraphrasing, if I wish to meet a goal, everything in my life needs to be condusive to the realization of that goal.

This applies to my goal of hearing my heart played back to me and of being moved by it. The food that I eat, the quality of my sleep, the music I listen to, the books that I read, the people I talk to, my general outlook upon life...my goal of composing music that I enjoy hearing played back, music that speaks to my soul, not my head, hinges upon how well I address each and every one of these areas.

Every decision that I make in life must be made with these things in mind. To clear an action, I need to ask myself a very simple question. "Is this going to get me closer to my dream, or is it going to set me back?"

Will Smith said: “I want to be the person that is the first person there and the last person to leave. That's who I want to be, because I think the road to success is through commitment, and through the strength to drive through that commitment when it gets hard. And it is going to get hard and you're going to want to quit sometimes, but it'll be colored by who you are, and more who you want to be.”

About an hour ago, I got a taste of what was possible for me in music, simply by thinking outside the box, and having the courage to take a risk. I think that whatever lies in store for me will reflect the effort that I've put into attaining it. 

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