I'm using this blog as a means to journal from now on, in addition, of course, to addressing my readers directly when I feel that there there is a lesson that may go unobserved if I don't.
The need to journal, to write, to feel my fingers dance across the keys, has become paramount to the need for a following.
As I grow more candid in my posts, surely more people will come, but the mistake I made in the first chapter of this blog was that I felt myself sinking (into the blog bog), putting so much focus on the numbers, how many people told me they would look at this blog and never did, and being perfect, that I lost sight of the reason I had started it in the first place.
It's been one hell of a journey so far. This blog has helped me grow in so many ways. Now I just want to chill. Have you ever felt that way? It's stressful learning so much so quickly, it's like a post pubescent growth spurt. I think, however, that it comes at the right time, because behaviorally (psychology) I don't think it could have come at any other.
In the Tarot deck, there is a card that represents the Fool. Dan Millman's mentor said that we are all fools together, that none of us know where or when we are (where is the Universe?). I feel that as I learn more about myself and about the world around me, I continue to lose sight of my birth right, which is to experience the world with six senses, and to enjoy it.
Sex and nuclear weapons are defiling enough. Why do we (my readers and I) need to grow spiritually as well when so many around us seem to lack the compassion or will to access the spiritual current to begin with?
I wrote in a handwritten journal entry six or seven months ago that I had backed off the spiritual stuff and begun to experience the warmth that I felt as a kid using a combination of essential oils, and a few piano lessons that Santa dropped down the chimney for me to make use of in my free time.
I called it re-entry.
I felt that I had gone as far as I could tolerate spiritually and needed to focus more on the world around me than the one in my head. I enjoyed it while it lasted. Eventually, however, I lost my grip on it.
I want it back.
So maybe that's what this next chapter will be about, experiencing re-entry for the second time, only this time I can take with me the knowledge that I continue to obtain through writing, through reflection, and through experience.
This blog is entitled The Introvert Exposed: A Practical Approach to Spiritual Living. No amount of spiritual resonance will be worth its weight in gold if I cannot apply it practically. It will serve as a distraction rather than the next rung on the ladder, and all that will do is drive me insane (as if).
In closing I want to thank Dorian for the courage to approach this blog in a different way than I had before--it means a lot to me that someone can read a candid post and fall in love with it--and Melissa for her continued support in my sobriety.
When Michelango was asked how he carved the Statue of David so beautifully, he responded "I did not carve David, I simply took away that which was not David."
This blog has begun to shake itself free from the stone cast by which it was protected from change. Whatever it turns out to be, I feel I've been blessed to have come this far, and to have all of you with me.
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