Per request: recognizing and realizing self worth

When you look upon the vast expansion of social expectations in western culture, it can be difficult to find yourself. I had that problem growing up. I couldn't sing like this or that singer, wasn't as creative as this or that artist, and I certainly wasn't as charismatic as many of my male peers. How did they do it? How did they so quickly earn the emotional attention of of the girl who sat out of gym class, hugging her knees to her chest, the girl that I was always so sure would find her way to me if only God wanted it to happen?

There must have been something wrong with me.

Many young girls find themselves isolating from peers and starving themselves, binging and purging, cutting, disfiguring themselves on the outside to match the chaos on the inside because they will never be that impossibly beautiful air brushed model. Should they have studied harder for longer to get the A that the smarter girl got? If only she could have held off on picking away at her plate for a bit longer, could she have earned enough of his attention to be singled out as his in front of his friends?

With her everything invested in what she could never attain, was she not vulnerable to whatever made her feel powerful? 

Drugs, say.

Recognizing self worth depends entirely upon social constructs, but only in the sense that the social framework of one's life is what gives them perspective regarding who they are, who they are not, and which qualities they find in others that they would like to see in themselves. Getting the girl isn't a quality, or even a value. It is the condition of certain qualities. Being impossibly skinny isn't a quality, or a value. It is the result of chipping desperately away at who you are because it's easier to believe that the guys who get the girls want the girls who hate themselves.

Qualities that define self-worth: Honesty, loyalty, passion, hard work

Conditions which dictate self-worth: Confidence, passion, effort

I knew from a very young age that I wanted to be a writer, but being a writer does not define my self-worth. My passion for helping others using writing, and my continued efforts to do so, are what make me a worthy contributing member of society.

The measure of an individual can be found in a passionate, honest and unselfish attempt to somehow bring light into someone else's life. Getting the girl will not help anyone else. Becoming impossibly skinny will not help anyone else. Writing about my struggles with addiction, and with how I used to starve myself because I wanted to be invisible, will help someone else because that someone else will read it, realize that they are not alone, and may carry the message to still others.

For the person who requested this: You are one of the most selfless, loyal, honest, passionate and hard working individuals I have ever known. You already have self worth. Sprinkle a bit of confidence on your efforts to remain pure and good and you will see what I see, and what others will see as you continue to touch the hearts of those around you.