I've friended a number of people I knew in high school to try to generate some exposure for this blog, but on an esoteric level I also did it to bring myself back to the days when I thought every goddamn thing in the world was possible. I spent many classes fanatasizing about how stupid I would make people look when I published the next great American novel.
Anything is possible with a bottle of Adderall in your pocket, right?
I'll show them, I would think.
Good thing more than a decade of experience has entered my life between then and now, because I might still be an angry, egotistical drug addicted social outcast. Now I'm just an egotistical outcast and I'm okay with it, because I'm doing what I always said I would do.
I'm writing.
Tonight's training will take place at work, where I will try not to speak unless it regards work-oriented tasks, a standard greeting, or unless I'm spoken to.
Much of my training involves internalizing conflicts. This is because I struggle with being alone in my head. Reducing the amount of time I spend initiating or entertaining conversation with others will allow me to shift my focus from idle chat to emotional processing.
It will also help me with focus.
Right now I'm on Strattera for focus and an SSRI (selective seratonin reuptake inhibitor) for depression. Eventually I would like to get off of both, and optimizating emotional processing time is a big step in the right direction.
Wish me luck!
See you on Facebook and Tumblr! starliper.corey@gmail.com
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