Not necessarily.
Some people have a real problem with being alone. I am one of them.
Often what drives my training is the hope that someday I will be comfortable in my own skin. The reason I don't enjoy being alone is because when I'm alone I tend to go to the darkest places in my head instead of the brightest.
I spent about five minutes in solitary reflection the other night, sucking on a nicotine lozzenge and thinking about what I could have done better, but also giving myself credit for the good things I had done that day.
And you know what?
It wasn't nearly as scary as I thought it would be. In fact it was extremely relaxing. For me, it would seem, the idea of being alone is much more taxing than the reality it would suggest. I have the same irrational fear of being stung by yellow jackets, and injections.
One of the things that helps me be alone when I need to be is friendship. I do not have many friends, but the friends that I do have seem to count on me as much as I count on them. I know that at a moments notice, I can escape my bubble of solitude and invite their insight, their plights and their love into my consciousness, even if that means only thinking about them.
The other thing that helps me with being alone is knowing that in moments of quiet waiting, or even just being, I can receive insight into the deepest parts of myself, which I inject into every post I write.
So I think I just found the answer to a question I've been asking myself for a few days now...if I can't get out of the box, I need to invite part of it into me, and the best way to do that is to sit quietly in a dark room and wait for insight that I don't have access to while everyone else is taking up space in my head.
I can do this!
See you on Facebook and Tumblr! starliper.corey@gmail.com
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