I told someone that I was feeling guilty about my training not going so well. He told me that the training regimen I had set up for myself was very intense and that it took guts to even approach something like that.
I asked him if he thought that some of my readers would stop following my blog seeing me struggle so often, and he told me that the readers who would stay would appreciate seeing me struggle and overcome challenges, and that if I let the blog evolve organically, the readers I would lose (if I lose any) may eventually come back to an entirely new blog.
The reality is my readers need to see me vulnerable. They need to understand that I am human, that I have emotions, including guilt--very intense, gnawing guilt--, but also that to have that guilt in this situation is to embrace ego, and part of yesterday's training was to let it go. So I was right. My training is carrying over from one day to the next.
Today's training is to replace negative thought patterns with positive thought patterns. I look forward to the challenge because that has always been a tough one for me.
Regarding my post on the alcohol craving yesterday, I did not submit to it. I am still very sober, very much alive, content, happy even, and the longer I go without taking alcohol into my body, the people who need to be in my life are getting closer, and those who do not need to be in my life are getting farther away.
I also have a request.
Someone brought up a good point this morning, and that is that no one comments on the blog installments I post to Facebook.
In the interest of generating readership I would request that all of my readers share this blog with others on whatever social networking platform you see fit when I post something that resonates with you guys, and to comment, I beg you kindly, using the 'comment' button below the post on Facebook.
The business cards are working--I've rounded up a few more regular followers--but what this blog really needs to get going is page activity, word of mouth, and feedback. I've known many of you for a good deal of time now. For all intents and purposes, you guys are my feelers. I need to know how my readers are responding. Request posts. The 'per request' posts thus far have generated the most page views. I expect they will continue to do so.
On my end, I will continue to update everyone on my training regimen and the success that I'm now beginning to enjoy with respect to discipline of the mind. As someone told me last night, this blog is real, and as much as the underlying motivation has been for me to teach, I've received the most hits on posts regarding confusion, feelings of guilt and failure, and obsession.
Be well, everyone. Let's keep this going.
Seek, and you shall find!
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