I want a drink so bad I can taste it. My anxiety is so high I feel like I've been holding my breath for a minute and a half. I feel my lungs burning against the frustration of needing something I can't have, because if I have it, I will have disappointed all of my readers, all of my friends and myself.
I'm writing it because I don't want to feel like this anymore. I need to step back and take an objective view of things and realize that ultimately, everything is okay and will continue to be okay as long as I continue to do the right thing.
One of my readers told me that my last post related to sobriety was her favorite because it sounded less scripted than my other posts. This is about as freaking candid as I think I can get at this point. I want to get loaded, smoke a pack of cigarettes and end the night with an apple pie and about 5 Red Bull.
But I won't.
Because my dedication to my daughter, to my readers, to myself, and to God, is more powerful than any weapon that could ever compromise it.
So fuck you, anxiety.
See you on Facebook!
starliper.corey@gmail.com
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