I had taken my medication late so I took it as I usually do, in addition to something I had stopped taking a few weeks ago. The result, I feel normal again for the first time in a few weeks!
I haven't been eating non stop, I haven't had any nicotine all day (zero cravings) and I decided to spend $20 on gas today instead of spending it on Red Bull. The latter means that the mplementation of reducing the spending limit on my debit card has made me prioritize my needs against my wants, with some wiggle room, not a whole lot but some.
It feels so amazing to feel like I'm back to Corey again, such a breath of fresh air, especially now that my priorities regarding happiness have changed. I told someone the other day that I no longer experience happiness.
What a heartbreaking conclusion to have come to!
Fortunately, I've realized that all I need to do is pay attention, and I will be reminded of what I need to feel good and to wrest genuine happiness out of any given moment. Embracing that fully may take some time and it will definitely take awareness, but I feel that the time I've spent training makes the task a lot more manageable, even though I haven't done quite as much as I would have liked to since I took it upon myself to lay out an impossibly difficult training module and follow it to a T.
Whatever happens from here on out, I've now completed one of the most uncomfortable dissociative detours I've ever had to take, and what I believe may be the first chapter in The Introvert Exposed, for while it may not be the first chapter to draw to a close in my life, it's the first one to close around me with enough people watching for me to declare in heartwarming jest that alas, I am famous!
See you on Facebook and Tumblr! starliper.corey@gmail.com
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